Month: December 2006

RULE FOR MEN

There are too much do and donts for women, coming from the other gender.
Let see if they can cope wid this….:)

1. Men who do not use deodorant will be fined RM500. Body odour can cause offense to other people, of both sexes. Furthermore, some people find the musky sweaty fragrance that some men give off quite, um, arousing. Therefore this can be considered a hazard to public morality. Hence, stiff fines should be imposed to prevent any untoward incidents. Perhaps a deodorant company can be roped in to sponsor a campaign for the prevention of offensive odours.

2. Men who do not have clean fingernails will be fined RM500. Our religion exhorts us to always keep ourselves clean. Hands should always be washed especially before eating. Hence, it stands to reason that blackened fingernails imply a clear distance between soap and hands. No woman should be expected to handle anything that has been touched by any male with dirty fingernails.

3. Men must dress decently or be fined a minimum of RM500. Decently means clean clothes, pants that are not about to drop off and shoes, not slippers. We might even consider unmatched clothes and dirty sarongs as indecent. And oh yes, the Visible Panty Line rule should extend to those who insist on wearing white robes too.

4. Men who look at women up and down, up and down, regardless of how the women are dressed should be fined RM10,000 or 10 strokes of the cane. This should apply to any man, regardless of race, religion or rank.Extra fines and extra strokes should also be imposed for those who, besides leering, also make weird noises and um, ungentlemanly remarks.

5. Men with greasy hair, overlong nose and ear hairs and unkempt beards will be reprimanded for being aesthetically offensive. Perhaps a campaign sponsored by shampoo and shaving cream companies might be useful. Overlong untrimmed beards may harbour all manner of cooties, and are therefore just as unhygienic as dirty fingernails (sometimes all of these are found on the same person). Therefore these types of men can be deemed public health hazards. Women should be allowed to carry disinfecting sprays to protect themselves from such dangers.

6. Men may not wear makeup, such as black eyeliner, and overbearing fragrances, especially those meant to cover the pungency of unwashed bodies. Only the smell of soap will be tolerated.

::MUSINGS by MARINA MAHATHIR::

Confession of Pain

I cannot wait to see this movie by Takashi Kaneshiro n Tony Leong..

For the first time in 20 years, Tony Leung, who has always been cast as the romantic lover, suave gentleman or everyday hero takes a gamble by playing the villain in his latest feature length movie.

I read the synopsis n it was Love At First Read..huhuh~~..

Footprints

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he waswalking along the beach with the Lord.
Across thesky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, henoticed two sets
of footprints in the sand: onebelonging to him, and the other to the Lord.
Whenthe last scene of his life flashed before him,
helooked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path
of his lifethere was only one set of footprints.
He also noticedthat it happened at the very lowest
and saddesttimes in his life.
This really bothered him and hequestioned the Lord about it.
“Lord, You said thatonce I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me allthe way.
But I have noticed that during the
mosttroublesome times in my life,
there is only one setof footprints.
I don’t understand why when I needed
you most you would leave me.”
The Lord replied,”My son, My precious child,
I love you and I wouldnever leave you.
During your times of trial andsuffering,
when you see only one set of footprints, itwas then that I Carried You.”

Bigger, better and faster with Measat-3

Good to Malaysian huh..

The new satellite, which introduces bandwidth-intensive broadcasting applications such as High Definition Television (HDTV) and Video On Demand (VOD) services, will also improve communications network 10-fold.
This will be possible with the new high bandwidth,
Very Small Aperture Terminal (VSAT) networks,
which leverages the latest satellite technology to reduce cost and increase efficiency.
The satellite’s launch will also expand the Measat fleet’s coverage to more than 100 countries embracing Australia, Middle East, Eastern Europe and Africa, representing about 70% of the world’s population

MY Keevan?

VICTORY!! Malaysia defeated South Africa in Melbourne..

Keeven Raj ..He’s my Hockey Hero ever!!

Full Name: Keevan Raj a/l Kali Kavadan

Short Name: Keevz

D.O.B: 14/10/79

Age: 27

P.O.B :Malacca

Height : 175/ 5’9″

Zodiac Sign : Libra

Ok its a joke

1, MOM…CAN YOU BUY ME A BRA?

“Mum, can I ask you something?”
“Sure! What about?”
“You see, I’m already fourteen and… I think it’s just proper that Ishould own one.”
“And what is this ‘one’ you’re referring to?”
“Could you buy me a neat set of brassieres?”
“No.”
“But my nipples are already prominent and it catches attention.”
“Nope.”
“It will be just proper at my age…”
“I said no way…!”
“But all of my friends wear……!”
“David! How many times must I tell you that bras are for girls!?”

2. WHO SHOT THE BEAR?

An 80 year old man is having his annual check-up at his doctor’s office.He says to the doctor, “I’ve never felt better in my whole life. In fact, Ihave a 20 year old bride who’s pregnant and having my child.. What do youthink of that?”The doctor thinks for a second and then says, “Let me tell you a story. Iknow this guy who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a hunting season. Butone day he’s in a hurry to go hunting and he accidentally grabs hisumbrella instead of his rifle. So he’s in the woods and suddenly a giantgrizzly bear appears out of nowhere. He raises his umbrella, points at thebear, squeezes the handle and the bear drops dead in front of him. What doyou think of that?”The old man says, “That’s impossible. Someone else must have shot thatbear!””EXACTLY” says the doctor.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
hmmm…….hahahha

English To Manglish?

Malaysia is a land of paradoxes. Chinese ladies in short skirts walk the streets side by side with Malay Muslims wearing the ubiquitous Islamic headscarf. To gaze on the ultra-modern Petronas Towers in downtown Kuala Lumpur, you could hardly imagine that this is the same country where sleepy fishing villages dot the coast.
When it comes to language, there are even more surprises in store.The Manglish.

Manglish grammar has its own unique set of rules. For example, the use of already, “He go home already.”
My mechanic once told me, “Your engine no good already.” Except he pronounced it, “oledi.”
Then, there is the famous “can or not?” as in, “You borrow to me five dollars, can or not?” Once in a restaurant, I ordered “a coffee and an orange juice, too.” When I was served one cup of coffee and two glasses of orange juice, I wondered what had happened. Later, I overheard how the locals ordered their drinks: “Coffee, one. Orange juice, two.”
Another important aspect of Manglish is the use of “lah.”
“Lah” does not have any actual meaning, but Malaysians like to pepper their sentences with it:
“Why you so like that, lah?”
“No lah.”
“So I told him lah that he cannot go lah.”Malaysians scored a victory a couple of years ago when “lah” was introduced into the official Oxford English Dictionary. They were slightly less happy to see that the entry listed its usage as Singaporean English.
You see, Singapore, has its own version of English, known as Singlish, which is very similar to the Malaysian variety.English is only one of the many languages that a visitor will hear in Malaysia. There is Bahasa Malaysia, also known as Bahasa Melayu or simply Bahasa, as well as a number of Chinese dialects including Mandarin, Cantonese, Hokkien and Teochew. You’ll also hear several Indian languages such as Tamil and Punjabi.Malaysians have a habit of mixing two or more of these languages together when they speak, sometimes even in one sentence. So, don’t be surprised if you hear sentences like these:“Aiyo, the lif is rosak already! Mari-lah, we use the stairs one.”
This translates to: “Oh no! The elevator is out of order. Come, let’s use the stairs.”English has particularly affected Bahasa Malaysia in the form of loan words.
For example, “makhlumat,” which means information, is not used often anymore. Instead, the loan word, “informasi” is gaining in popularity.
There is “bas” for bus, “rileks” or “rilek” for relax, and “restoran” for restaurant.
English loan words are especially common in technology and science. Therefore, you’ll hear the wordds “teknologi” and “sains.”
Recently, a billboard proudly described a new notebook computer as featuring “teknologi wayarles”, or wireless technology.
These loan words are very popular with the younger “generasi.”Bahasa has many different words for “I” and “you”, but speakers in the capital city, Kuala Lumpur, still find room for these English words in their speech.
In this way, “I love you” can be expressed as “I sayang you”, and one might also ask, “You sayang I?” Tourists need not worry too much, though. Although they may hear some pretty strange things while they are there, a good command of English is enough to ensure that they will not be in a situation where they are stuck with no way to communicate.
In fact, just like visitors to Jamaica, they are likely to be charmed by the unique way the language has evolved here. It is quite likely that they’ll pick up a bit of the local lingo while they are here and if they choose to stay on a little while longer, they are sure to wake up one day to find themselves speaking Manglish.English has been in Malaysia since the colonial days, although Manglish is a relatively new development.
Recently, there has been much lament in the Malaysian media about the decline in the standard of English in the country. There have been government campaigns and Science and Mathematics in schools will now be taught in English.
Although the government, unlike Singapore, has not yet taken an official stand against non-standard usage, one gets the feeling that Malaysians will not give up their Manglish that easily lah.

::taken from Emile Alexander Dodds ‘From Manglish to English’.

The life of an Angle

Mother Teresa was born in 1910 in war-wracked Albania to Catholic refugees. At the age of 19, she went to India to join the Sisters of Loreto, a missionary order of nuns. She served with the Sisters as a teacher for 20 years. At the age of 38, while traveling by train in India, she had a striking realization that her life’s mission was to minister to the poorest of the poor. With the Pope’s blessing, Mother Teresa descended into the slums of Calcutta, undoubtedly one of the poorest cities on the planet, and began the Sisters of Charity.

The 20th Century will in many ways be remembered as the century of images. Of utmost importance in this day and age is the image one projects to the world. Politicians obscure self-serving motives behind dazzling smiles and expensive haircuts. Super models hide anorexic bodies behind layers of makeup. Hollywood makes heroes out of decidedly un-heroic narcissists. One person, however, lived a life that was identical to the image the world had of her. This person was Mother Teresa of Calcutta, a woman who was celebrated worldwide as a saint and who lived a life that wholly justified this renown.