Month: June 2007

this heart that broke so long

This heart that broke so long
This heart that broke so long
These feet that never flagged
This faith that watched for star in vain,
Give gently to the dead
Hound cannot overtake the Hare
That fluttered panting, here
Nor any schoolboy rob the nest
Tenderness builded there.
By Emily Dickinson

To tell or not to tell…

I bump into my friend today, and what a surprise, she’s getting married. And I ask issit Marc? She ignores my question. Showing me her beautiful diamond ring from her husband-to-be, its damn gorgeous she must be very happy with the ring. But somehow her face tells me a different story, couldn’t help but asking her whats the matter..

May as she always be, is a very beautiful charming lady with her tall slender body, bright smiles and sexy lips (as she always claim..haha). It normal when a man will turn back and takes a bit longer look at her, cuz she’s just amazing.

Being that astounding it always easy for her to find prince charming, well at least perfect man, who can love her for a lifetime. But, she choose to love only one man in her life, and its umm among our friend. The problem is that, she never tells the Marc how she feels, and this fella is stupid enough to realize how much this princess had fallen into him.

It had been 10 years, since I remember May told me she love Marc. And she cries when she told me about her husband to be. I know him. And I know how much he loves her.

May told me that Marc just called her the other nite and finally utter the words she always longed to hear from him ‘L.O.V.E’. And she’s engaged….

I watch so many stories like this in a movie, but this one really happen with my close friend. Both are my friend, and the only problem is that both of them are so stupid not just tell each other how they feel, until it is too late.
Mebbe this is when we have to believe in destiny. We couldn’t always get what we want, and what we love, cuz God had write a different name in the book for you. So you might be so in love with Marc, but God had written different name for your everlasting companion.

That’s what I told her.

And she said.

If God had written a name for my everlasting companion, then why He makes me love other name?

Hmmmm….Im not, but as a friend I need to say something to soothe her..

Mebbe, becuz He already give both of you enough time to tell each other feeling, but both of you waste the chances given. Umm..but its never too late for anything, its just……a heart might hurt…

I don’t know what im talking about…and I don’t mean to encourage her to break the engagement or to go for a life she’s not sure of..I just don’t know..I wish I could have someone to tell me what to do..

And she asked me “what will you do if you are in my place?”

Ok……That’s a million dollar question, cuz I know she will do exactly what I say. I know her too long, to predict her mind!

And I say..

You cant turn back the time, and tell Marc 10 years ago that you love him. And you cant turn back time to say Im sorry when Steve propose you 6 months ago.
May, a lots of things need some sacrifice and you can have it all perfect. If u decide to be with Marc, then you have to tell steve about it. Rather than live with him for the rest of your life and pretend that u love him. He might be hurt, but not forever if u tell him now. But if you think you can learn to love him, then learn to love him. He’s being too good for you for all these time. You already made your decision when you accept Steve 6 months ago, so if Marc just knocks the door, just pretend you didn’t hear it…

OMG, did I just ruin someone’s life?

To Marc, Steve and May, I just try to be a good friend…Im sorry….

…Is it just so hard to tell someone how you feel?…