Month: August 2007

Her Mother

Lately, lots of headlines on Mother Theresa having faith crisis before she died. Tv’s and newspapers keep giving their OWN critics.

For me it pretty wretched and cheap shot to attack someone who cannot defend herself. It’s a SHAMEFUL!

They can easily critics, and accuse her for everything..but can they do even a thing she did?
Im still Mother Theresa admirer and will always be. People can talk lots of things about her, but it depends on how we actually see the things, she did, she wrote and she said.

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse youof selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win somefalse friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people willforget tomorrow,
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got … anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it isbetween you and God,
It never was between you and them anyway..

-by: Mother Theresa

Angry Men Get Ahead While Angry Women Penalized: Study

Published on Friday, August 3, 2007 by Reuters
Angry Men Get Ahead While Angry Women Penalized: Study
by Claudia Parsons

NEW YORK – A man who gets angry at work may well be admired for it but a woman who shows anger in the workplace is liable to be seen as “out of control” and incompetent, according to a new study presented on Friday.
What’s more, the finding may have implications for Hillary Clinton as she attempts to become the first female U.S. president, according to its author Victoria Brescoll, a post-doctoral scholar at Yale University.
Her research paper “When Can Angry Women Get Ahead?” noted that Clinton was described last year by a leading Republican as “too angry to be elected president.”
Previous research has indicated that anger can communicate that an individual feels entitled to dominate others, and therefore perhaps is. But in a paper to be delivered at a weekend conference, Brescoll said such studies focused on men.
“As Senator Clinton’s experience suggests, however, for a professional woman anger expression may lead to a decrease rather than an increase in her status,” Brescoll wrote.
She conducted three tests in which men and women recruited randomly watched videos of a job interview and were asked to rate the applicant’s status and assign them a salary.
In the first, the scripts were identical except where the candidate described feeling either angry or sad about losing an account due to a colleague’s late arrival at a meeting.
Participants conferred the most status on the man who said he was angry, the second most on the woman who said she was sad, slightly less on the man who said he was sad, and least of all by a sizable margin on the woman who said she was angry.

The average salary assigned to the angry man was almost $38,000 compared to about $23,500 for the angry woman and in the region of $30,000 for the other two candidates.
In a second experiment, the script was similar except that the job applicant also described his or her current occupation as a trainee or a senior executive.
“Participants rated the angry female CEO as significantly less competent than all of the other targets, including even the angry female trainee,” Brescoll wrote. She said they viewed angry females as significantly more “out of control.”
That impacted salaries. Unemotional women were assigned on average $55,384 compared to $32,902 for the angry ones. Male executive candidates were assigned more than trainees, regardless of anger, with an average $73,643.
A third experiment tested whether a good reason for anger made any difference. The script was changed so that some angry candidates explained that the co-worker who arrived late had lied beforehand, indicating he had directions to the meeting.
Sure enough, the angry woman with a good reason to be angry was awarded a much higher salary than the angry woman who provided no excuse, though it was still less than the men.
The study, to be presented this weekend at the annual meeting of the Academy of Management, a research and teaching organization with nearly 17,000 members, found similar attitudes to anger among male and female participants.
“It’s an attitude that is not conscious,” Brescoll said. “People are hardly aware of it.”
Brescoll said the findings revealed a “difficult paradox” for professional women — while anger can serve as a powerful tool to achieve status at work, women may have to behave calmly in order to be seen as rational.
© Reuters 2007.

What If…

Here I stand alone
With this weight upon my heart
And it will not go away
In my head I keep on looking back
Right back to the start
Wondering what it was that made you change

Well I triedBut I had to draw the line
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I’d stayed
If you’d tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we’ll never know

Many roads to take
Some to joy
Some to heart-ache
Anyone can lose their way
And if I said that we could turn it back
Right back to the start
Would you take the chance and make the change

Do you think how it would have been sometimes
Do you pray that I’d never left your side

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I’d stayed
If you’d tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we’ll never know

If only we could turn the hands of time
If I could take you back would you still be mine’
Cos I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keep on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
What if I had never walked away’
Cos I still love you more than I can say
If I’d stayedIf you’d tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we’ll never knowWe’ll never know


Suicide lad’s mum breaks silence photo Kota Kinabalu: The mother of 11-year-old Donni John Duin – the SK Kinarut pupil who was found hanged from the ceiling of their house at Kg Suangon in Kinarut, Papar, on March 20 – thought he would never do so again after advising him on a previous attempt.
Hina Joloni, 37, believed the abject poverty that the family of six siblings endured proved too much to make him want to try again.
“He told me he could not take it anymore living in the conditions we were in,” she said, adding that towards the end, Donni also had to endure cruel teasing at school by classmates who likened the porridge he brought from home daily to that of dog vomit.
Hina said shortly before the tragedy, he confided to her a very disturbing thing that happened in school.
“At first he asked me if I had prepared food, which would be porridge mixed with kangkung (a vegetable) that we eat everyday. “He said he did not eat the porridge that I prepared for him at school earlier because the students were making fun of the food, teasing him that it was like eating dog vomit,” she said, tears welling in his eyes.
After she told him to ignore what the students said, she said Donni John, who looked depressed at the time, asked if he could borrow 20 sen to buy ice cream. “I told him I did not even have 5 sen, let alone 20 sen, to give him…I was so sad I had to tell him that,” recalled Hina.
As they have been living on a fixed assistance of RM70 from the Welfare Department, she said, she could barely afford to provide any luxuries to her children, aged between five and 17. “He sighed and looked at me before asking when was my next appointment at the hospital, as I have thalassaemia and a heart condition.
“After I replied, he said sudah la kita tidak cukup makan mummy lagi balik-balik masuk hospital (we do not even have enough to eat and mummy has to be treated over and over in hospital),” she said. Hina said Donni John had previously attempted suicide the same way but that she got to him in the nick of time.
“I tried my best to control my emotions then, but being incensed and terrified at the same time, I lost it and shouted at him to get him to tell me why he would do such a thing. “My son replied there would be fewer people to feed and to take care of if he were to go and that his share of the food could be given to his brothers and sisters,” she said, fighting back tears. “I know mummy has a heart condition, so if I die mummy can also take my heart,” she recalled him telling her. Hina described Donni as a quiet boy, the kind of person who would only talk when someone talked to him first. She said they were fortunate to be living in the house at Kinarut, thanks to a man who she got to know in the hospital and was kind enough to let them stay for free temporarily.
“Although we have hardly any furniture and electricity, we are grateful to even have a home,” she said. Hina said the family did not receive help from anyone as she did not know where to go to for help. “I am ashamed to borrow from people because I think that would burden other people…the rice that we have at home is also borrowed from my friends.” Previously the family was not living in such dire straits because her husband supported them through the income he obtained from tapping rubber. “I was angry at him for getting involved in drugs so I reported him for the good of our family because I heard people doing drugs could end up doing bad things. “After
I reported him in people started talking behind my back. They said all sorts of things like ‘if I could betray my husband then I would have no problem doing the same to my children’ or ‘there goes the drug addict’s wife’,” Hina said.
“That is why I decided to move from our previous place in Kg Sugut in Penampang to Kinarut…to get away from those people,” she said, adding that her husband, whose sentence runs until 2016, has been in jail for about a year.
Although Donni John’s death has added to Hina’s burden, she is determined to keep going for the sake of her other children. She knows he would want her to do so.
“I miss him so much.”
** Life never treat us good, but its sad to leave someone so dear to us, crying…**